This example of a college admissions person essay written for the Common Application was targeted for question #5 on the pre-2013 on diversity. But Carrie writes about the central part of her identity, so would be a good match: "Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it.
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It is imperative that an applicants essay answers the question that is being asked of him/her in the most authentic way possible. Sounds simple, right? Unfortunately, many applicants approach the essay thinking more about what they believe admissions counselors want to hear than the actual question itself. This is the one part of the application that will tell your story. A high school transcript and standardized test scores tell one story. You took these courses, you got these grades. You took this test, you got this score. The essay is your opportunity to share your voice, your vision, your potential. Some things to keep in mind...1. Follow directions. 500 words means 500 words. 2. Proofread, Proofread, and then when you have time Proofread again3. Share you essay with a friend and/or teacher and ask for feedback4. Answer the question thoroughly. For example, ff the essay asks you to write about a person in your life who influenced you and how they did, make sure at the end of the essay, an admissions representative knows more about you than the person you chose to write about. Remember this is YOUR application, not the person who has influenced you. 5. Be sure you type your essay and include any application number that you may have received6. Keep in mind that your short answer questions(if applicable) are also important components to your application. The short answer questions should be given the same amount of time and attention as your essay. Remember, all parts of your application count!
College Essay - Sample Application Essay 1
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Write as much as is possible in an hour, focusing only on content. Work on clarity and style at another time, since it may be difficult to edit and rework sentences during the creative process. At some other time, read the essay aloud, avoid redundancies and unclear wording. Rework sentences and leave out any thing that does not relate to the main idea and final attitude. Expressing one idea clearly is more effective than a flood of words and ideas. Imagine you are in an interview, what question do you the interviewer would ask you? What would you to talk about? Your work at an animal shelter? The beta testing you did for a new video game? The campout you went on with your best friends? Write about it! The college essay is the best way to tell the admissions board the interesting things about you. You know yourself best. Real-life examples are interesting to the reader. If you can’t think of a subject to write about, write about one of the activities in the activities list you will include with your application. Be sure that you are telling the activity is important to you, you stayed committed, and you spent so much time participating. For the long essay (500 words or more) be sure to choose one topic only. If possible, make that topic something which will relate to your intended college major or future career interests. You’re in control of this interview. Avoid listing small details that distract. Consider how you would feel if you were telling a story and the listener kept asking you questions about small details. You would get frustrated because you would feel he was missing the point of your anecdote. In the same way, too many small details only distract the reader from your point. Keep the examples moving towards your main idea. If you are relating a sad or tragic personal experience, use less than 100 words to describe it. For a short essay, keep the description in the second-fifth of the essay. Focus on the positive outcome or lessons learned. Remember, this essay represents to the college. Don’t give the mistaken impression that you are a "broken person". A college may hesitate to admit a student with emotional problems. So, if your examples relate negative experiences, keep them short and near the beginning of your essay so you have the space and time to write how you were eventually able to overcome these experiences. Highlight the positive outcome to leave the reader with a sense of your ability to triumph over hard times. Below are things to do. Below are things to avoid